Jerrod Carmichael is More Than a Twink Chaser...Maybe?

There are so many more discussion-worthy topics in Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show than his love for Tyler the Creator and white twinks. Please don't let either of those things keep you from watching it. And to be clear, I really like Jerrod Carmichael. Or at least the idea of him. But I don't think liking him as a comedian, person or public figure is necessary for the richer points of at least this first episode to hit.

First, to get it out of the way, at the release of the trailer a lot of online conversation hovered around one scene (that I'm glad they showed very early) of him sucking white men's toes on the summer jam screen. One day in this newsletter, or an iteration of it, I will for sure crack into how poorly we have the conversation around interracial dating, but today is not that day. If that detail is so egregious that you aren't interested in anything else the show might offer, I would, however, be curious why. The other thing that's been a hot topic is this very painful conversation where Jerrod confronts Tyler the Creator after being curved when Jerrod opened up about being attracted to him. Lol, let’s start right here.

In the larger context of the show, the clip that's going viral is part of a more complete thought about what it's like falling for someone that's unavailable. Personally, I don't think for a second that Jerrod expected, or even privately wished, that Tyler would reciprocate those feelings. I believe it's much more painful in that for Jerrod, someone who is newly out and still finding comfort in his sexuality, distinguishing intimate feelings from romantic ones, especially with someone you know and trust, can be difficult and confusing. Add to that, "falling" for someone you know is unavailable is a predictable hurt and attempt at control (like self-sabotage); a sense of safety and familiarity that you don't have when you're putting yourself out there (scary) and being vulnerable with someone who could actually like you back (scarier), but if they don't there's no cushion of friendship to soften the ego hit (scariest). Seeing him grapple with that in real-time and the emo bait (that I fell for) of him asking Tyler "What are you seeking?" is where the real meat of the show is. Especially when considering (ANECDOTALLY) the ways Black gay men express dissatisfaction (online) in finding other Black gay partners that reciprocate their interest, attraction and effort. More on attraction to unavailable people here in Psychology Today, and here from J.P. Brammer's Hola Papi column that also highlights some things in a reader letter that parallel details Jerrod talks about in his own relationship later in the show.

Second, Jerrod's relationship with his mother and father. While archetypal and familiar in a way that I think we may have media fatigue from, the strain of it and it being something he's trying desperately to come to terms with still manage to land in a really personal way. Even without it being personal to me. In Sermon on the Mount, one of his two 2019 documentaries, Jerrod spends a lot of time chronicling the hurt he feels about his mother's refusal to accept his sexuality, the anger he feels towards his father for being a serial cheater and all-around asshole to his mother, and his embarrassment and ever-present judgment of his mother for continuing to accept it. In one rage-inducing scene, his mother is in marital counseling alone with her pastor, who quotes scripture to her about forgiveness as his encouragement for her to forgive Jerrod's father. I wanted to scream. In the wake of him coming out publicly in his Emmy-Winning special, Rothaniel, he talks about how things have only gotten worse with his mother and his family, and he seems to have one foot in pleading for her love and the other foot in writing his family off completely. We haven't seen his father in this show yet, but when Jerrod confronts him in Sermon on the Mount that conversation did donuts in the parking lot.

In those moments I feel for Jerrod because what must it be like to be a dark-skinned, out, gay Black man who's achieved critical acclaim amongst Black and white audiences, and be largely accepted for all the parts that you are, by everyone accept the people you want it from the most? We've never seen a Jerrod Carmichael before and that's part of why he's fascinating to me, but the shit he's going through with his parents is accessible in a way that, to some people, his comedy is not.

Lastly, and maybe most compelling to me, his relationship with straight Black women. In both Sermon on the Mount, his other HBO documentary Home Videos and now in Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show, a subtle but consistently present component in his storytelling is how he shares the truly supportive and encouraging relationships he has with the other cishet Black women in his life. His cousins and aunts seem to be cool with the whole of who he is and make mention of the difficulties in his relationship with his mother, as do his two close friends Avery and Jessica (who get quite a bit of screen time in episode one). I loved seeing this because the relationship between Black gay men and cishet Black women plays out in lots of different ways, not all of them as positive as what we see onscreen here. So to have that, it's comforting, it's affirming and it's my hope that, on some small level, it shows more Black gay men and cishet Black women how to better care for and be in community with each other.

Whether Rothaniel has a humiliation kink or if he's just fine sharing his discomfort and flawed humanness in excruciating detail for millions of viewers (and possibly millions of dollars), we'll never actually know. But if we can suspend reality for flying dragons and blonde dreadlock wigs, then I can choose to sit with the truly valuable components of this off-beat show, by a gay nigga from the south, that also happens to be obsessed with white latino twinks, whether he meant to make those points or not.

For the record, I fully believe he did.

New episodes of Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show come out every Friday on MAX.

***If you made it this far, I really want Tyler's manicure from this episode and the anonymous guy that came to the hotel and went with him to the Emmy's was Bo Burnham. ***