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Interviewing My Therapist for Engagement...
Ryan Sides
March 12, 2024
Today's Tracklist
INTO THE THICK OF IT this week with some clips from an interview I did with my therapist that I get to share with y'all! This issue is all about therapy, so if you’re in it and don’t necessarily need/want a refresher, I get it if you skip this one. Just come back for the next one!
It feels weird to say but I'm genuinely proud of what my and younger generations have done for therapy conversations and minimizing the stigma around them, especially for us #TheBlacks. Online we talk a lot about the benefits of therapy (and wishing the men people in our lives went) which is great, but what’s also cool about that is seeing people share what they’re learning and what those sessions are actually like if you've never been.
Peeling that curtain back even further, and thinking about what I would want to see if I was still on the fence, let’s all just go talk to MY therapist! As best I can and without taking you niggas into an actual session, here’s a small peak into our rapport/what I’ve been learning in therapy, one thing that’s concerning about our collective mental health and, from his POV, why therapy is so important for Black gay men.
The Doctor is In 👨🏾‍⚕️
First up, introducing Wesley Willis Psy.D, MSW, LCSW-R, BSN, RN-BC, CCM
What my own growth in therapy has been like
One of Dr. Willis’ concerns about our collective mental health…
…and things that are exciting about where we’re going!
A final thought from Dr. Willis on therapy for Black men
My relationship with Wesley is super important to me, not only because of the work we’re doing, but also because I was lucky enough to find a Black, gay male therapist. This is something that was really important to me in my search because it’s something I needed to truly feel seen and to be able to fully GO THERE when addressing some difficult aspects of my life. For me it means I’ve gained yet another space to be able to share my feelings honestly and openly as I’m attempting to navigate the ups and downs of my life, and the subsequent waves of my emotions 🌊🏄🏾‍♂️
Okay, I’m interested but where do I start?
One thing that we know about why people aren't in therapy is the cost; the shit is expensive, and for poorer communities that are particularly vulnerable, it stops there. According to the CDC, only 6% of Black men report daily feelings of anxiety or depression, but the numbers are likely significantly higher due to a number of reasons (traditional masculine ideology, the need to avoid emotional expression etc.) that keep them/US from reporting. Here are a few facts to keep handy123:
Black men's depressive symptoms are more disabling, persistent, and resistant to treatment than White people's. Black men are also more likely to suffer from chronic, prolonged, and severely debilitating depression
In 2018, the suicide rate for Black men was four times higher than for Black women
Research shows that Black adult men are 10 times more likely to be diagnosed with a psychotic disorder
Black adults living below the poverty line are more than twice as likely to report serious psychological distress
Add the modifier of being gay/queer in there and it only gets worse. So for those where money is the primary barrier, what are your options?
Here's a list of free and low-cost resources compiled by the Bridging the Gap Foundation and KLS:
As someone in therapy, I can confirm that finding a therapist you feel comfortable with can be work, will likely be work. On top of that, going through a number of resources to find affordable care…the journey to get started can be overwhelming. All of those things being true, I want to personally tell you how worth it the work is - if you're showing up willing to do it. And it's true, therapy might not be the best route for you. But what is important is taking your mental and emotional wellbeing as seriously as your physical health. In that way, it's worth your immediate attention. So if it’s not talk therapy, make it a priority to seek out other healthy options, like these or these.
Recent Obsessions 🤪
I’m a huge podcast listener and my absolute favorite genre is immersive, audio fiction. Maybe I’ll do a round-up of my fave shows in a later issue, but recently I’ve been listening to Finding Naborhi and it’s so good. It’s basically about this kidnapped little girl and her father’s search to find her. The episodes are super short and bite-sized, and they get into the action immediately. Here’s the trailer:
PLUS it’s by a Black creator named Sisan Fregene and I interviewed him for the next issue!
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BONUS: If you're interested, here's two more clips of him explaining why he decided to become a therapist and what therapy for him, as a therapist, is like.